Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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