They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
