i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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