Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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