There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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