Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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