i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
