glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just had sex on a roof
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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