So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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