yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
