How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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