East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
birth control should be required to get into college
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
