I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
