I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
