There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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