I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
