Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
