My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
