Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
