My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
