you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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