there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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