Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
