I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
