I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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