I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
