On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize