I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
