did you get engaged???
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
