How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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