we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sorry my hands just texted you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
