I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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