Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this just has baby written all over it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
