1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Nicole vs. Life
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
