dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
