and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
