im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
