i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
