I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
