so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
