I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
