I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
