Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
