drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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