At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize