nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
