i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
