he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
