He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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