I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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