New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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