North Korea, Best Korea!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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