I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
