Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
