why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this will be a night to untag.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
