k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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