i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
