so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
