What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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