disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
